If you like it put a ring on it.

Branded Custom Keyrings are Gobsmackingly Amazing!

photograph of a customised keyringBeyonce is an outstanding performer – no doubt about it, she’s a consummate professional…and a bit of a babe. Disappointing then to read last week that she’s been named as one of the celebrities with the worst, smelliest breath in her industry, closely flanked by P Diddy and Justin Beaver… Honestly, if we sold promotional toothpaste, I could make a strong link between success and bad breath, and hence push our branded oral hygiene range to the professions – thank goodness we don’t yet stock any.

When I was younger, my cousin Bruce and I would wage bets on the abhorrency of random strangers’ mouth gases. Bedraggled folk would get a straight 10 and clean cut, suave sorts would waft their peppermint zephers into the low 1s or 2s. Not that good looks alone prevent dumpster-juice scirrocos blowing hard from pretty mouths like Beyonce’s.

She proves the point that looks can be deceiving, same with Justin Beaver (although in his case, his parents probably cashed in on his early stardom instead of teaching him a few basic cleansing fundamentals, and how to ask for a decent haircut).

Is that cruel and where on Earth am I going with this diatribe?!!!

Nowhere, I’m having a rant out of absolute dismay and upset that Beyonce can knock a camel down at 10 paces – must flog those front row concert tickerts on Gumtree – and I completely forgot to mention how gobsmackingly amazing branded custom keyrings are!

The fact Beyonce doesn’t use anything less than a Luis Vuitton keyring to keep her penthouse and Bentley keys together in one convenient location, isn’t enough to sway my revised opinion of her. I could be persuaded to put her back on my christmas card list if Colgate sent her a promotional giveaway custom keyring for the key to her bathroom cabinet, so she wouldn’t keep losing it.

If the eyes are the window to the soul, you can tell how clean a house is by the state of its microwave, then what does a 10/10 in the halitosis dept. indicate about a person? You tell me, I’m confused.

Happy Valentines Day.

Rant over.